Archive for April, 2009

Just Let Go

April 30, 2009


Oh my goodness, I’m in a good mood!  Snack Packs, enrollment dates and David Mamet, I feel so blessed!  Anyway, Fischerspooner is a wonderful little electronica outfit out of New York.  While quirk they have aplenty of, (this video is just plain awkward), their music is uncontestably danceable and will keep you moving those hips of yours all night long.  Just Let Go is my favorite track by the electrofused duo.  It’s just the right amount of dance/trance to get you a-movin’. 


And You Thought Indiana Jones 4 Was Egregious…

April 29, 2009


This is insane. Absolutely insane. I have been bitching about the dearth of creativity in Hollywood for years now, blubbering about the black hole of originality that the studios seem content to simply stew in. Unfortunately, the viewing public doesn’t seem to mind. Box office sales for that trainwreck Indiana Jones 4 hit $700 million worldwide. I got news for ya, people, studios see a number such as 700 million and instinctively go, “WE NEED MORE!”

To prove my point further that there really and truly is a glut of unoriginal, hack writers, producers and directors owning Hollywood right now, take a look at this incredibly long, sad, and pathetic list of upcoming sequels:

Predator sequel entitled: “Predators”
Alien prequel
Drop Dead Fred remake
Wall Street 2 starring Shia LeBeauf
Clueless sequel
Who Framed Roger Rabbit sequel
Adventures in Babysitting remake
Indiana Jones 5
Fast and the Furious sequel
Tron reboot
Robin Hood reboot
Terminator: Salvation
Transformers 2
DaVinci Code prequel: Angels and Demons
Clash of the Titans reboot
Odysseus reboot
Night at the Museum reboot
Twilight sequel
2 Harry Potter sequels
Wanted sequel
The Mechanic remake
Star Trek reboot
S. Darko: the Donnie Darko sequel
H2: Halloween remake
Crank 2
Nightmare on Elm Street remake
Videodrome remake
Tintin sequel
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot
Toy Story 3
G.I. Joe remake
Sin City 2
Spider-Man 4
Sherlock Holmes remake
X-Men: First Class
Batman 3
Iron Man 2
Ghostbusters 3

Now granted, some of these films I am EXTREMELY excited for. Ghostbusters 3, Batman 3, Sherlock Holmes, TMNT, and a few others (most of the bottom of the list), but it only further serves my point that all we have to look forward to are reboots and revamps of previous franchises. Where’s the new material? Other than Humpty Dumpty and Sucker Punch there is absolutely nothing up-and-coming and original that has me excited. How in the world can this many people involved in “the art of film” come up with this mega-list of repackaged material? A good remake or sequel here and there is wonderful. I loved The Dark Knight. But this? Yikes.

Lily Allen Vs. Bat for Lashes

April 28, 2009


Creator’s note:  OBVIOUSLY this is purely fictional.  None of these events actually happened, blah, blah, blah.  This is just a look into my sordid mind to see how a comic book geek like me views the world.  I want to start a Vs. section of posts where I pit two celebrities/fictional characters/whathaveyou against each other and see who leaves from the scrap victorious.  The stories will be just like picture books in that I’ve included a hyperlink everywhere where action ensues.  I have included a video in those links to better flesh out the action on the page.  The very first bout, LILY ALLEN VS. BAT FOR LASHES!!!  FIGHT!!!

Lily Allen and Bat for Lashes had been frequenting the same London night club for quite some time now without any altercations. Some said that the two actually got along swimmingly; most nights. However, April 25th was not most nights. Lily Allen had quickly become more intoxicated than she had hoped for and took to the stage. Bat was innocuously seated at a table with a few friends, in Lily’s way. In a dismissive gesture, a stumbling Lily accidentally spilled her drink all over Bat’s dress and her friend’s, as well. As Lily climbed onto the dance floor and began to gyrate her child-bearing hips to the beat of Klaxons, Bat came up from behind and politely tapped her on the shoulder. Lily swung around and Bat explained the situation and demanded a proper British apology. Lily told Bat to go blow a member of Parliament and continued to shake her groove thing, almost in a defiant, taunting manner. Bat took a step back, gauged the situation, and ran at Lily, full force, taking her out from behind with a massive clothesline. Lily, being inebriated, numb, and a scrapper, shot to her feet and sized up her equal-in-stature opponent. That’s when things got ugly. Lily reared back on her haunches and delivered a superkick the likes of Shawn Michaels to Bat, knocking her down. Lily then mounted the nearest table and dove off, delivering a massive elbow to Bat’s sternum. As Bat lay incapacitated, Lily began delivering mudhole-stomping boots to her face. Finally, a seemingly-victorious Lily sauntered off with her arms in the air and declared victory by grinding against some faceless man. Unbeknownst to Lily, however, Bat was using her crazy-witch powers to restore her strength and summon the four horseman of the apocalypse. The horsemen rode in on BMX bikes with animal masks on and began brutally assualting Lily. Eventually, she didn’t know which way the bruisings were coming from. The club patrons had cleared a circle by now and were astonished by the scene that was unfolding in front of them. As the horseman Death came in to deliver the final blow to Lily, she ducked and sent Death crashing into Pestilence, who in turn took out Famine. Allen recovered and sent War a finishing roundhouse kick that took off his head in a clean break. With Allen and Bat one on one again, and a new wind in Allen, things looked rough. But Bat looked to the sky, started mumbling some crazy nonsense and then groaned in a mannish falsetto, “Daniel.” None other than the Karate Kid himself appeared in between Allen and Bat. Facing Allen, the Karate Kid bowed and then proceeded to demolish Allen before she could even cock her head to the side in confusion. After a firm pummeling, the Karate Kid backed off to give Bat the finishing blow. Bat simply walked up to Lily and blew her a kiss in an attempt to gracefully knock the battered Allen over. Despite the planned, poetic finisher Allen unconsciously stayed on her feet. So, Bat simply head-butted her to the ground, walked over her body in a heap on the dance floor, and left with her friends as the club patrons merely looked on, frozen in terror.

My Little AWESOME!!!

April 27, 2009


This is so incredamazing, it’s ridic.  I would speak properly but my brain cannot comprehend the amount of awesomeness I just stumbled upon.  So, being the incredible superhero nerd that I am and loving toys/collectibles/action figures/the like, when I found this website I about had a seizure.  Jodi K. Moisan, from what I can make out, creates custom My Little Ponies, and primarily focuses on crafting them into superheroes!  Exciting, I know!!!  My favorites are Deadpool and Harley Quinn.  It seriously doesn’t get any better than that.  And for those of you non-heroic types out there, Moisan has included some basic, pop-culture induced customs as well, such as Barack Opony.  I have to know what the exorbitant price tag is on these little buggers! The link to the site is also below.

This is How Addictions Start

April 27, 2009


Ho-ho-Hoooooly crap. So while I am in no way, shape, or form a gamer (the only game I play is WWF No Mercy for the N64) these recent trailers for Batman: Arkham Asylum giving me a lot of second thoughts on the subject. This one is my favorite featuring the only woman I could ever truly settle down with, Harley Quinn. Voiced by the incomperable Arleen Sorkin. The fact of the matter is that the graphics look phenomenal, Paul Dini is helming the project, and beyond Sorkin, both Kevin Conroy (Bats from the 90’s cartoon) and Mark Hamill (THE quintessential Joker; eat your heart out, Ledger) have both signed on to play their respective roles.

Could you please give me a quick moment? Thanks.


We haven’t been graced with this team of AWESOME since the Batman Beyond movie (Yes, I am that much of a Bat-geek, AND PROUD OF IT!) But back to the topic at hand, the game looks amazing and I am SO elated to see Dini’s incarnation back in the mainstream with trailers like THIS to promote it. As I said earlier, this may be the game that gets me to pick up a controller again.

Chris Brown Vs. Rihanna

April 26, 2009


This (the video attached to the link, NOT the picture above) is my dear friend Dante’s handiwork.  I just recently stumbled across this video on his blog, and while I know he made it awhile back and that I missed the boat on the Chris Brown bashing, I couldn’t not post this.  I pee’d a little upon first viewing this video clip, true story.  It’s lovingly attached, below.


Chris Brown vs. Rihanna

Jon Lovitz Owns City Walk

April 25, 2009


Well…he at least rents a portion of it. How’s that?  This is exciting.  Jon Lovitz’s new comedy club on City Walk in Universal City, California is finally coming to fruition.  Here’s a link to the club’s fledgling, young website.  While multiple comedy clubs have come and gone in the exact same location that Lovitz is trying to make his go in, I’m hoping that Lovitz has the work ethic and know how to actually make a comedy club in the heart of one of L.A.’s biggest tourist attractions work.  You would think that the location itself would bring throngs of tourists looking to be entertained after dark, but, judging by all the previous failures, that just isn’t so.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

April 25, 2009


Woo boy.  This is going to be a problem.  I am one of a growing group of people that find Beyonce Knowles to be an incredibly annoying and overrated songstress. But after her latest little stint at the box office (Beyonce’s movie Obsessed grossed the biggest last-weekend-in-April gross ever) it may become harder and harder to keep Beyonce off the big screen. The only silver lining is that the last weekend in April is usually the weakest weekend of the year in terms of box office returns. It immediately precedes the first weekend in May which ushers in the legion of blockbuster summer flicks, producing a lackluster April closing. However, sensational news such as record-breaking always seems to find its way to the wrong executives with the right amount of power to do something about it. I have a bad feeling that it will become harder and harder to regulate Ms. Knowles to a recording studio for much longer.

The Importance of Cinema

April 25, 2009


Interesting article from Variety.  It would appear that some major players from the MPAA converged on Capitol Hill with lawmakers to discuss the future of the movie industry in relation to the country and the economy.  Apparently, in February, the Motion Picture Industry lost $246 million in revenue due to revised tax breaks in the Obama administration’s stimulus bill.  This decision came hot on the tails of the Motion Picture Industry’s record-breaking box office month of January.  Hollywood appealed to Washington stating that the Entertainment industry is crucial to the nation’s economy and its eventual recovery.

While 90% of this meeting was the usual blowing-smoke/ass-kiss fest that all lobby meetings in Congress are, I actually see the merit.  Of course, I’m biased.  I love film and honestly want to devote the rest of my life to the medium as an art form.  But (and not to get too artsy-fartsy on you) there is something to be said about the American tradition of cinema and having that natural release available to the masses that only celluloid can deliver.  Because with cinema comes the capacity to dream.  To imagine.  To hope.  And at no point in America’s history do we need more hope than we do know.  Disenfranchisement and disillusionment are running rampant in this country right now, and I truly believe that most people need to have their spirits uplifted, they need to be entertainedthey need to share a moment with a loved one in front of a silver screen, they just need to smile.  And film seems to be the one artform that is most capable of accomplishing those things across the board.  Not many people escape through painting or sculpture.  People’s musical interests are too incredibly varied, plus, there’s this weird stigma in our culture that music is the one validated art form and to take it away is a crime.  And few people truly read for leisure.  I am in no way, shape or form discounting these art forms, they are all equally important.  But, that being said, I believe that we need cinema just as much, if not more.  For the cinema presents physical, human experiences right in front of us to enjoy.  Sure, they’re contrived.  But that’s what is so beautiful about them.  With cinema, we can create the experiences that we would have never had, otherwise.  We can dream whatever we want.  We can envision whatever we want.  We can idealize whatever we want.  And in this time of misery and despair, the opportunity to imagine something, anything, is a golden one.

Nothin’ But A ‘G’ Thang

April 24, 2009


For those of you who don’t follow hardcore music, there’s a compilation that comes out every once in awhile called ‘Punk Goes…’ and then they insert whatever genre they have the bands covering.  For instance, there’s Punk Goes Pop, Punk Goes 80’s, Punk Goes Crunk, etc.  And while I generally hate punk music, the label “punk” in this scenario is expanded to include many hardcore, screamo, and alternative rockers.

Which is how I found out about The Escape Frame.  This band has managed to go completely under my radar until this album.  And let me tell you, I’ve been missing out.  Listen to their cover of Snoop’s Nuthin’ But A ‘G’ Thang and tell me it isn’t one of the best covers you’ve ever heard.  Period.