Posts Tagged ‘Wolverine’

Halloween Costumes ’10!

October 7, 2009


It’s that time of year again.  The leaves are changing, Jack-O-Lanterns are on display, and college girls around the country are trying to come up with what “Slutty” something-or-other they will be this Halloween.  Which is what prompted this article.  I love Halloween.  So it goes without saying that I love an in-depth creative costume choice and loathe a generic, simplistic one.  Below are some 2009-centric ideas that I would LOVE to see out in the public domain this Hallo-day.


1. George Lukas and Steven Spielberg raping Indiana Jones, or a stormtrooper.


2. Shakira writhing around in some form of epileptic interpretive dance, as referenced in her She Wolf video.


3. Kanye West-run around all night interrupting people’s conversations with a mic in hand.  Bring a Taylor Swift with you to further interrupt.


4. The Mighty Boosh-Vince, Howard, Naboo, Bollo, and Bob Fossil in some form or other.  Bonus points for going as one of their more elaborate side characters, like the band from the episode, The Priest and the Beast.


5. Kate from Jon & Kate Plus Eight toting eight babies all tied to a single rope, sans-Jon.


6. A plethora of Lady Gaga’s all fighting for attention and leadership in that poor girl’s clearly multiple-personality-driven head.  It would have to be a group outing, but it would COMPLETELY be worth it.


7. I would LOVE to see the entire cast of The Office simply to see if it could be pulled off correctly.  As Michael Scott and crew have fairly uniform appearances, it would take quite the striking resemblance of ALL characters involved to pull this one off.  If done properly, however, it could be FAMAZING.


8. Christian Bale (who I still love) constantly attacking a lighting guy as he sets up his rig in the middle of the street.  This would obviously require two people, and some sort of lighting rig, but with an uncanny Bale look-a-like and a slipping Welsh accent, it could be kind of fun.


9. Fox Studios Destroying Wolverine-This one is VERY high concept but probably my favorite one.  Dress up clearly as Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine and then spend the rest of the night demolishing toy helicopters (as Jackman does in the film), crappy Deadpools with stitched-up mouths, and comic books in the symbolic act of Fox destroying everything sacred about Wolverine, The X-men, and Marvel Comics.


10. Zombieland-Go with me on this one, I know it sounds generic, but just think, if you and three friends dress as the characters from Zombieland (which was AMAZING, by the way), complete with weaponry, you can spend all night running around interacting with people who dressed up as zombies!  Namely, killing them, but that’s not the point.

Bears With Sparklers




April 24, 2009


Sometimes, after I’m all tuckered out from ranting and raving all day, I’ll take a step back and ask myself, ‘Self, are you an absolute raving moron, or just a slight raving moron?  Do you actually have concrete, legitimate opinions or are you just a jabbering, incoherent nut?  Oh, and, do you think we have any Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream left?’  Usually, I don’t receive much of an answer, but occasionally I’ll stumble across articles like this one that reaffirm everything I’ve been bitching about.  Recently I posted an article stating the ridiculousness of Fox’s struggle against the internet as a way to profit off of its future endeavors.  While scanning the interwebs, I found this beautifully written logic-piece that speaks far more elegantly about a topic I truly believe in. 

The article is found here, on ERC Box Office.

My Forecast: Superheroes are Screwed

April 21, 2009


Interesting developments in LA-LA Land…Zach Snyder’s latest project, Sucker Punch, has lost half of its cast due to “scheduling conflicts.”  The boys over at slashfilm (who I grifted this story from) seem to think that Snyder’s inability to deliver with Watchmen at the box office may be a component as to why half his cast is ebbing away.  Evan Rachel Wood, Emma Stone, and Amanda Seyfried have all dropped and have been replaced by less expensive actresses, such as, Emily Browning, Jamie Chung, and Jenna Malone (The only validated one out of the bunch for her work in Donnie Darko).  Apart from the news about Jenna Malone (who I think is actually an upgrade) it’s very disheartening to see Snyder’s project falling apart.  The Alice in Wonderland-esque story description found in the above link to /film sounds incredamazing.  Hopefully, it won’t be daunted by Warner’s downgrading of its budget/cast.

So, in my usual way, I’d like to take this opportunity to explore a barely-related tangent.  I am a self-professed nerd.  I ADORE comic books, superheroes and the like and have been especially pleased with the revitalization of the cape and cowl at the box office.  However, I’m becoming more and more afraid.  The only reason that superhero flicks have obtained the adequate funding that they need to be fully relized on the silver screen, is because Hollywood is banking off of the profits established by the Spider-man franchise, Iron Man, and The Dark Knight, to name a few.  As soon as profits start slipping and the genre becomes financially undesirable, the age of heroics onscreen will be as quickly abandoned as it was picked up.  After Watchmen’s flaccid delivery after a WAY hyped pre-release and with the upcoming Wolverine flick’s ginormous propensity to equally suck, it looks as though we may be headed for some rough cinematic seas in the comic realm. 

Of course, all of these noted films are in the present, whereas the future is what we can look to for an indication as to whether or not we comic-lovers are able to breathe easy for the future of our beloved franchise films or if we’re officially screwed.  And my verdict is that we are officially, without a shadow of a doubt, screwed.  The upcoming crop of hero franchises in pre-producition are as follows: Thor, The Avengers, Iron Man 2, The Green Lantern, Magneto, X-men: First Class, Sin City II, Ant-man, and G.I. Joe among others rumored to be in talks.  When you step back and look at this list, you release the absolute breadth of the storys involved.  All of these franchises are big, sweeping, epic stories(sans Ant-Man), incaple of being produced for anything short of The Dark Knight’s production value.  Thor is a mystical Norse thunder god, The Green Lantern is a space odyssey, X-men simply needs to up its value after seeing some of the screens from Wolverine, and The Avengers is the franchise where all these heroes converge.  What I’m trying to say is that there is a HUGE margin for error in the production of theses up-and-comers.  As I have stated before, we have barely mastered the approach to comic books steeped mostly in reality (i.e. Spider-man and batman), we are NOT ready to take on mystical outer space warfare and the greatest collection of spandex-covered heroes in history.  We simply aren’t ready to produce these kinds of work, from both a production standpoint and from a treatment, or a writer’s standpoint.

Hollywood is a fickle beast, to say the very least (Hey, that rhymed).  Once these films start bombing in succession (and believe you, me, they probably will) Hollywood will see the gaping wound it has produced, stop the bleeding, and then routinely move on to some other manner of business (fire up High School Musical 8, boys!).  We have to take our time and step away from certain super hero franchises before we prematurely explore them all in the form of sub-par cinema.  (See The Hulk and The Punisher for, not two, but FOUR perfect examples of this.)

Another Reason to Hate Corporate Hollywood

April 7, 2009


Yahoo News just broke a story along the lines that a veteran entertainment reviewer of 10 years has been fired for reviewing a bootleg version of Wolverine: Origins.  According to Yahoo, Fox promised that the source of the film would be prosecuted and has already contacted the FBI and MPAA regarding the leaked film.

My take on the matter is that it is simply ridiculous.  The day when movie studios and record companies alike both look to the future and agree to engage with the internet and it’s potential for profit, instead of condemning it, will be a fine day indeed.  It absolutely blows me away that with all the revenue and manpower that the studios and record companies have behind them that they have not already found a legitimate way to profit off of the filesharing phenomenon the internet has introduced to us.  This major form of everyday life for many people isn’t going away.  In fact, it’s only getting stronger.  So, to fight against it is losing valuable time and energy that you could be using to research how to best profit from it. 

Not all of this letter is rant, however.  Some studios have taken HUGE strides in the right direction as far as experimenting with the online marketplace and trying to work the kinks out of web-based programming., for example, is a Sony-administered website offering content and gameplay to the online community.  Many programs are beta-tested on Crackle before Sony gives them the eye for the bigger picture.  Not to mention that the website is ad-revenue supported.  Hulu is NBC’s portal in which it does a wonderful job of including much of its televised canon on the interwebs.  And other websites, such as, are not run by studios, buy by independent directors who produce exclusive content for the internet community.  In this case it’s Adam McKay and Will Ferrell.

I’m no socialist.  I understand that entertainers need profits to further entertain us.  But there is simply no arguing the fact that the internet isn’t a blockade that studios should be looking to break through, but a channel to better serve and recieve from the community.  There is absolutely no logic in fighting something like this movie review when you know that in the near future, the internet will provide people with early screeners and sneak peeks the day after post.